Humor Writing Portfolio - Trouble at the Furniture Store
Here is some original humor I wrote for the Yahoo! Group: Laugh Lover's.
This writing is about Trouble at the Furniture Store.
| The trouble with
furniture stores is that some of the stuff you go there to buy is not what you think it is. Is it? For examples: I went to the furniture store to buy a new occasional chair, but when I got there it had turned into a sofa. The salesman told me it was an occasional chair meaning that it was only a chair on certain occasions. Who knew? I went to the furniture store to buy an area rug, but when I got there it had turned into a rug. The salesman told me it was an area run meaning that it only covered a certain area. Since my room was so much bigger than the area rug's area the area rug turned into a rug. Bottomline area rugs are only area rugs if they are almost as big as the area. Get it? Speaking of Area... Reminds of an Opera by the same name. I hate Opera, no I didn't say Oprah, I said Opera. No, not Opera Winfrey. Who goes to the Opera. I have never met anyone. How can they survive without any fans? I know it gets hot in those Opera houses and fans are needed to keep the Opera singers cool. Aren't most Opera singers a little on the chubby side? I went to the furniture store to buy a loveseat. The two people sitting in it were fighting. I told the salesman to keep his loveseat. Why do they call it a loveseat? Does that mean if you have a longer than normal sofa it's a hateseat? Well, I try to stay off my hateseat and stay on my loveseat. But the loveseat can get you in the hotseat if you know what I mean. Depending upon who is sitting next to you. I went to the furniture store to buy a sleeper sofa, but it turned out be an occasional chair so I didn't want it. Whenever it went to sleep as a sofa it turned into an occasional chair. It was really a chair, but a sleeper so they called it a sleeper sofa. Does that mean that you have to sleep on it? Or can you just use it like a big chair? I went to the furniture store to buy wall unit because my door unit was blocking the door and my wife said, "Honey! Get that door unit outta here!" At least I think she called me Honey. The salesman at the furniture store told me my door unit was really a wall unit, but I accidently put it in front of the door. Who'd a thunk it! I went to the furniture store to buy a new box spring, but it turned out to be a cardboard box with a spring in it. I asked the salesman about it. He said I was the first person to ask for a box spring in the box. I find it's not very comfortable to sleep on after a few minutes. It pokes me in the back, right in the center of my back. I wanted to take it back, but I wet the bed and that was that. I went to the furniture store to buy a formal dining room. The problem I had was my dining room was back at the house and I couldn't figure out how to haul a whole new dining room back with me. Besides, I was dressed informally. So I thought about it and called some demolishion experts into my house and they promptly cleared a path for my new dining room. Then, I went back to the furniture store with a bunch of movers in a moving van and formally bought the formal dining room into my house in one swell foop using a gigantic crane made for building tall buildings. I GIVE UP!!! |
Mount Laughmore
by Kramer
©2006
Copyright 2006. Kramer. All rights reserved.