Hey Movie Buff-oons!

Kramer skinny flicks (short films) are for Oscar, Oscar the phish.

PAUL NEWMAN
A true makeover story about a man named Paul. Poor old Paul. Paul the
pauper was living inside the box and thinking inside the box. A boxed
in life was all Paul had, until a beautiful young maiden named Chair
came along. She worked for a chairity where she walked the streets
for money. She took the money she raised and bought chairs for the
box people. The Boxonians were elated for the belated chairs. Now
their chairs would be theirs. And there was a special connection
between Chair and Paul. She was a makeover artist for MGM (Makeover
Guys Museum). She could take an oldman, and make him a newman. It
wasn't long before she made Paul a newman.

SISSY SPACEK
Imagine being launched into outer spacek with a bunch of sissies. This
movie will have you on the edge of your Earth. The problems for the
sissies begin shortly after blast-off. Those sassy, sissy astronauts
immediately get motion sickness and begin to cry for the ride to
stop. They want their mommies. You won't believe what happens next?

HELEN HUNT
You'll feel real excitement and joy between periods of extreme
sadness and boredellodumb. Where in the hell is Helen? Is Helen
missing? No one can find her, but her hunters. The hunt is on for
Helen. This movie is like a Helen Wheels remake, always moving,
always grooving.

CHER
Listen closely, I wanna' cher somethin' with you. Can you imagine a
world with only-children? As in, "I am an only child!" That's right,
a world where nobody has any brothers or sisters. A world where
nobody chers nothin' with nobody. In one scene, Sally comes over to
borrow some sugar from Mary, but Mary sends her away teary-eyed and
empty-handed. Sally wanted a little sugar, but had to wait for her
boyfriend to come home for that, because Sally didn't get any from
Mary, because Mary didn't cher.

GENE HACKMAN
We all know working in a factory is hard work. In other words, it's
hard work working in a factory. But what if you're working in a genes
factory? And what if there are Levi's everywhere you look? Mark Levi,
Frank Levi, Hank Levi, Tim Levi, Jim Levi, and Ronnie Levi, all
brothers, all working together in the same genes factory. The factory
that Jack built, Jack Levi. We all have bad days. But what if you
found a pair of genes that did not measure up to Levi's high gene
standards? It was Ronnie Levi's job to make sure the genes passed
inspection. It was all Ronnie! Ronnie was the hackman. Ronnie was to
hack the rack the genes hung on and maintain that Levi gene leg-acy.

CUBA GOODING JR.
The saga of a small island south of North America and north of South
America. A saga based on a raga, a worst-selling novel. This ugly
island was run by thugs and drugs. It was an island in utter chaos
and turmoil, that is, until the Sr. leader died. That's when Jr. took
over and turned the island upside down and nothing but gooding things
begin to happen.

TOM CRUISE
A horrifying flick about a bunch of guys named Tom, who take a cruise
to another place and Tom. This is a soul journey about a bunch of
shipmates who cruise the seven seas only to find salad dressing
beneath their hull. They struggle to locate the nearest salad barge,
but it's too late. The ship begins to sink in an oily mess leaving
them floating in oil and vinegar with no crew tongs. Tom's up! Will
they survive?

GREGORY PECK
A feather-beaten flick about a chick named Gregory. Trouble was, her
parents kept her cooped up all the time. I'd say she was severely hen-
pecked. She was without a doubt, the peck of the litter. As cluck
would have it, her parents mistook her for a rooster when she was
born. They named her Gregory and it stuck like a duck, and she was
SOL. She awoke one day and exxxclaimed, "Cluck this!" She flew the
coop and became an overnight chicken sandwich and feather duster. She
was last spotted sharing the spotlight with Henny Youngman.

Jane is Fonda what I wrote. Donna is going to Reed what I wrote. And
Tom Hanks me for trying.