Humor Writing Portfolio - Medical Songs

 

Here is some original humor I wrote for the Yahoo! Group: Laugh Lover's.

This writing is about Medical Songs.

Kramer's Top 40+ Medical Hits...

Plus a Billy Joel Medical Hit Parade Bonus

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The Gland Played On

For He's A Jolly Good Bed Fellow

I Left My Heart In San Francisco General Hospital

Foot, Foot, Footsie! (Good-bye)

Yes Sir, That's My Rabie

Up A Lazy Liver

Looks Like We Made It Through Another Operation

Almost Like Being In Glove

If My Friends Could See Me Know They Wouldn't Need Laser Eye Surgery

Ding-dong! The Nurse Is Dead

The Doctor In The Dell

Mary Had A Little Clam

Three Blind Doctors

Pick A Bale Of Cotton Out Of My Ears

Crock Of Ages

Come Back To Sorrento Medical Center

Singin' In The Brain

Hail To The Chef of the Hospital

Old Dang Sinus

Love Is A Many-Splinted Thing

The Shadow Of Your Bile

Somewhere My Glove

My Nurse Has Lovely Hula Hands

Tiny Bubbles In The Air Line

How Are Things In Glocca Coma

If I Had A Femur

This Gland Is Your Gland

On The Runny Side Of The Street

Nut Cracker Suite

I Made It Through The Brain

If You Remember Me Your Anethesia Wore Off

By The Beautiful Pee

Dancing Spleen

Here's That Brainy Day

Down By The Liverside

Shake Rattle And Blow

If I Had My Life To Live Over It Wouldn't Be At This Medical Facility

Try To Remember After I Remove Your Brain

The Lady Is A Cramp

Blood Is Bustin' Out All Over

You Are Woman, I Am Man And I Kiss It And Make It Better

Crease

Get Me To The Clinic On Time

I Could Have Operated All Night

I've Grown Accustomed To Her Pace

On A Fear Day

In The Pill Of The Night

NIGHT FEVER

Let's Take The Whole Thing Off

They Can't Take That Away From Me Unless I'm Under

Someday My Bill Will Come

The Bells Of St. Mary's Hospital

Come Brain Or Come Shine

Love Letters In The Gland

You Turned The Operating Tables On Me

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And Some Billy Joel Medical Hits...

Operating (A) Room Of Our Own

You May Be Tight

Captain Quack

Baby Gland

Code Blue Of Silence

(A) Matter Of Bust

New York State Of Confusion

Qualude

Liver Worse Comes To Liver Worst

Just The Way You Are Makes Me Ill

Only The Good Die Old

Scenes From A Hospital Cafeteria

Roalinda's Eyes Have Cataracts

Ain't No Crime To Cut Off Your Slime

I've Loved These Days In The Recovery Ward

Get It Right The Second Time

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Sorry Billy! I had to do it!
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You Light Up My Knife

Theme From Close Encounters of the Medical Kind

Last Chance

For Once In My Knife

Ouch Me In The Morning

You Are The Sunshine Of My Knife

Ain't No Way To Treat A Malady

Sew Into You

Song From G*A*S*H

Song from R*A*S*H

Stop And Smell The Toeses

You Don't Have To Be A Star (To Be In My Clinic)

Waking Up Is Hard To Do

Booger Ooger Ooger

(The) Greatest Glove Of All

How Sweet It Is (To Be Gloved By You)

If You Bereave Me Now

Lost Without Your Glove

Could I Have This Trance

A Groggy Day

The Girl From Ipanema Healthcare

Every Breast You Take

Hang On Poopy (Hang On!)

If Pee Walked Into My Life

MameD

One For My Rabie

Put On A Happy Pace

Stormy Lather

Who'll Stop The Brain

Fire And Brain

You'll Never Find Another Glove Like Mine

Don't Let Me Be Bonely Tonight

Don't Let Me Pee Lonely Tonight

You Make Me Peel Brand New

Till There Was Goo

I Right The Tongs

Glove On The Crocks

My Favorite Slings

On A Clear (X)Ray

Send In The Gowns

Try To Dismember

What Kind Of Tool Am I?

You Don't Bring Me Powers

Your Schlong (This one really belongs under LOVE SONGS below)


*** LOVE SONGS ***

How Deep Is Your Glove ( I know... The glove thing is getting old!)

I Believe In Glove (NOT AGAIN!!!)

Lay Down Sally

I Was Only Choking

Can't File Without You

*** STEVIE WONDER MEDICAL HITS ***

Don't You Worry 'Bout A Sling

For Once In My Knife

Golden Malady

I Was Made To Glove Her

A Place In The Bun

Ribs In The Sky

Singed, Scaled, Delivered I'm Yours

(The following lyrics are to be sung in the same melody as the Dragnet TV Show theme song)

DUMB! DUMB-DUMB-DUMB!
DUMB! DUMB-DUMB-DUMB!
DUMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Reminds me of a song...

I Left My Heart in San Francisco

and a sister song...

I Left My Lung in Los Angeles

and a song...

I Left My Kidney in Sydney

and yet another song...

I Left My Eye in Seeattle

still another song...

I Left My Stomach in Burpbank

and yet still another song...

I Left My Head in Amazon Jungle

OK...just one more song...

I Left My Ear in Wax Museum

one for the road...

I Left My Lip in Kissimmee

I give up...LOL
 

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by Kramer
©2006

Copyright 2006. Kramer. All rights reserved.