Humor Writing Portfolio - Kramer's Favorite Movies or NOT
Here is some original humor I wrote for the Yahoo! Group: Laugh Lover's.
This writing is about Kramer's Favorite Movies or NOT.
| Kramer's favorite
movies... That never made it to the BIG SCREEN... Silence of the Hams - A movie about stand-up comedians who bomb. American Ugly - A movie about the Miss America Pageant after they introduced another new twist to the competition. The contestants were asked to remove all of their make-up, and then kiss and make-up before a panel of exstinguished judges. Forest Grump - A movie about a guy who lost his compass, and his way, deep in the forest. Saving Private Parts - An R-rated movie about Lorena Bobbit's ex's. Apollo 69 - An R-rated movie about a couple of asstronauts. A Beautiful Bind - A sad story of a happy guy caught in a lover's triangle between two beautiful, sexy ladies. The Lord of the Things - A movie about a packrat who hates cheese, and therefore, nobody moves his cheese. Shreik - The story of a hooker with an irritated throat. As Bad As It Gets - A movie about a guy named Kramer who lives on rejection letters and insects. Fartgo - A story about a lonely man who scares fellow human beings away with uncontrollable flatulence. Dead Man Talking - A movie about a dead man who talks. All he talks about is death and dying. Duh! Men in Slack - A movie about hard, beefcake, male models walking the runway for Victor's Secret. Erin Rockobitch - A story about a punster, punk-rocker girl named Erin, who is off her rocker. Schindler's Lisp - The story of a pitiful, middle-aged man named Schindler who was born with an annoying Jewish lisp. Although he liked running a tight ship, he couldn't bring himself to say "Nice, tight ship!" to the Germans. Brain Man - A movie about a semi-nude, crude, rude dude named Mike Basstard and his day job. (Don't take it personally, Mike... It's a joke. It's comedic humor as its finest when Kramer picks on the audience. That's what you get for sitting in the front row!) Mrs. Doubtchoir - A movie about a chorale director who couldn't sing a note, even if you paid her. Romances with Wolves - A story about a bunch of enterprising young Native American Indians from Cleveland, who run a petting zoo in the Black Hills of South Dakota. Blame - A Broadway musical made into an off-Broadway movie that tells the tale of a bunch of grumbling actors on a guilt trip. E.T., the Elderly-Terrestrial - A movie about a really, really old, alien geezer from the planet, AARP. He comes down to earth (I wish some of us wood) and slowly works his way up at an uneasy listening radio station, WAARP in Cincinnati, OH. The Wrong Stuff - A story about Jermaine Jackson playing herself or with herself, as an unpopular, exotic dancer in the Sunday church choir. Back to the Suture - A movie about an absent-minded surgeon, who has an extraordinary sense of humor and leaves all of his patients in stiches. There's more to this cinematic, nightmarish, movie game, but now it's your turn to play! How many thumbs up yours will you muster? |
Mount Laughmore
by Kramer
©2006
Copyright 2006. Kramer. All rights reserved.