Bank Jokes

Humor Writing Portfolio - Bank Jokes

Here is some original humor I wrote for the Yahoo! Group: Laugh Lover's.

This writing is about Bank Jokes.

Here are some more lame bank jokes. I walked into the bank with stick of butter and said "Stick 'em up! Give me all of your bread." I went to the drive-thru teller window and the teller said, "Would you like some fries with that?" I took my wife to the bank to tell her something, but the teller told her something instead. So I let the teller teller! A robber went up to a teller and demanded a dye pack thinking money was included. The left without a red cent. I was turned down for a new home loan because I was good friends with so many collection agencies. I never made my car payments on time. My car was possessed by the 1st Devil's Bank of Hell. (Geez, I must have forgotten how to spell possess... it looks funny to me and I am too lazy to look it up right now.) I went to the safety deposit box to deposit a safe deposit box. I stood in the long line at the bank and yelled, "This is a hold up! I haven't got all day. Please keep the line moving!" I sat in the drive-thru lane at the bank for a few days waiting for the red light to turn green before I could go. They never told me the light was stuck on red. I drove backwards thru the bank's drive-thru lane to see if I could get any money back. I was going to rob a bank, but decided that it was far easier to take out a 1000 year loan. A bank robber met a hot, horny blonde teller in the bank. She demanded sex for money! A bank robber walked up to a 24-hour teller. She had just quit her job because of the long hours and she could not help him. Two tellers were overhead talking about the good looking guy on the new dollar bills One teller said to the other teller, "Now that's a hunk of money." I know there's more to this story, but I am lacking the funds to continue.

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Here are some more jokes you can BANK on. I stood at the 24-hour teller machine pressing PIN numbers for 24 hours because I forgot my PIN number. I went into a new bank to sign up for a checking account... they told me, "No deposit, no return." So I left. I went to a bilingual 24-hour teller machine. I pressed the wrong button and played Uno instead. I went to the bank drive-thru in a race car so I could get some fast cash. I traded in 100 old Lincolns for a Susan B. Anthony dollar, but there weren't enough parking spaces at the bank. I went to the bank drive-thru in an ice truck so I could get some cold cash. I went into a bank and proceeded to the Loan Department and borrowed some of their chairs. I will bring 'em back when I'm done. I saw a robber with a toy gun enter a bank. When he left the bank he was carry a bag of play money. A bank teller in Arkansas was collecting state quarters. She thought that George Washington was a state so her collection, although monotonous, made the Guiness Book of World Records. I went to the bank to coin a phrase and was given a penny for my thoughts. I gave a teller a pen. I took a picture and said, "It's pen and teller." Now these bank jokes are starting to get kinda lame. Let's try a couple more and then I will declare bankruptcy... Why do they call them tellers because they don't say much?!? I bought a bank so I could say that I had money in the bank. Why is every bank called the 1st bank when there are so many of them? OK... you win! I am bankrupt, both morally and physically. If you don't buy my cartoons, I will have to declare bankruptcy.

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