Cars

Humor Writing Portfolio - Cars

Here is more comedy I wrote for the Yahoo! Group: Laugh Lover's.

This writing is about Cars.

This is about some new concept cars at Kramer's World Auto World Auto Show going on now in the Kramer Convention Center, Missing, Parts Unknown. Dodge Dirt - Good car for making mud. VW Touregg - Good SUV for hauling chicks... The kind that lay! VW Beatle - Motor makes sounds like your favorite Beatles album. Ford Crown Ick - Good car for nothing. Dodge Ram-bo pickup - Good truck for drive-by shooters. Cadillac Escalator SUV - Hurry up and buy one... The price keeps rising! Mazda Wrecks 8 - Replaces the RX8... Good car for road rage! Mercury Stable - Good car for horsin' around in. Toyota Sellacar - Good car for used car salespersons. Pontiac Asstech - Good car for technology savvy donkeys or asses. VW Cabbie Ole' - Good car for cab drivin' bullfighters. Chevy Core bet - Good car for high stakes' gamblers. Studybaker Lark - Good car for smart old birds. Ford Woody - A retro (throw-back or throw-up...depending upon how you look at it) auto from the 50s... Good car for users of Viagra. Oldsmobile Cutless - Safest car on the road... Good car for getting in accidents and not getting cut as bad. Pontiac Vibe-rator - Good car for... almost anything and everything! Geo Prison - Good car for bad guys. Ford Tarus - Good car for roofers... Ever notice how roofers always end up in my jokes?!? Oldsmobile Aroara - Good car for Lion tamers... A best seller in Las Vegas, NV! Cadillac Dogtera - Good car for people who hate cats. Outie - Good car for people with certain kinds of belly buttons. Buick Narc Avenue - Good car for undercover cops. Chevrolet Baretta - Good car for fans of the TV show. Chevrolet Blazer - Good truck to wear with shirt and tie... Also doubles as a good car for fire fighters. Chevy Assthrow Van - Good van for people who like getting their butts tossed out of places. Chrysler Town & Country Mouse - Good car for dwarfs or midgets. MG Midget - Good car for midgets too! Dodge Peon - Good car for migrant workers. Dodger Wiper - Good car for window washers. Ford Escort - Good car for call girls. Chevy Sub Burpin' - Good truck for people who eat subs at Subway. GMC Yukon - Good SUV for people who think positive... "You con if you think you con!" Honda Qualude - Good car for dopers. Honda Oddyssey - Good van for strange people and weirdos. Honda Civic Del Sole - Good car for civic-minded fisherman. Honda Civic Del Soul - Good car for civic-minded psychic mediums. Honda Pissport - Good SUV for people who can't hold it... The perfect SUV for the "Are wee wee there yet?" crowd. Hynundai Scoope - Good car for ice cream lovers. Hyundai Snota - Good car for nose pickers at red light intersections. Isuezoo - Good car for people who try to sue the zoo after their kids are eaten by wild animals during a nice, quiet family outing at the zoo zoo zoo. Isuzu Amigos - Good car for illegal aliens... And I don't mean the outer space kind! Mercedes Bends - Good car for scuba divers. Mercury Pillager - Good van for pirates. Mitsubishi Mirage - Good car for people who think they just bought a car. Nissan Minima - Good car for people who expect less and get it. Nissan Pathfinder - Good SUV for people who can't find their way... In other words, THEY'RE LOST!!! Olds Tornado - Good car for people who are storm chasers. Olds Silhouette - Good car for people who like to hide in the shadows. Plymouth A Claim - Good car for people who often get into wrecks and have to call their insurance companies. Pontiac Grand Pricks - Good car... 'Nough said! Toyota Land Bruiser - Good car for people who like to drive on well-kept, manicured lawns. Volkswagen Pissat - Good car for people who like to do drive-by you-know-whats! Volkswagen Van Again - Good van for people who like to repeat stuff over and over. Vowelvo - Good car for people who like to play word games. I gotta' run... This World Auto World Auto Show is gettin' out of hand! Security! Security! HELP! HELP!==========

At this year's World Medical Auto World Medical Auto Show...

Dodge Fart VW Touregg VW Heart Beatle Ford Tooth Crown Vic Dodge Ram Hiccup Mazda RX Mercury Stable Condition Toyota Cellica Pontiac Asstech Oldsmobile Cutless Ford Torso Cadillac Skintera Buick Pork Avenue Chevrolet Laser Chrysler Town & Country Hospital Dodge Peeon Dodger Wiper Honda Qualude Honda Cervic Honda Pissport Hynundai Scope Isueyou Mercedes Bents Mercury Pillager Nissan Maxipad Nissan Bathfinder Olds Pillhouette Plymouth A(Medical)Claim Toyota Glandcruiser Volkswagen Pussat Vulvo I gotta' run... This World Medical Auto World Medical Auto Show is gettin' out of hand! Security! Security! HELP! HELP!==========

Thom! Yugo guy! Cindy... Yugo girl! I think I know why the chain game is not going places fast. Perhaps some of your timing chains are broken. or maybe some of you are getting too Olds or maybe some of you are fat Saabs and too lazy to play or maybe some of you are trying to Dodge the game altogether or maybe some of you are worried that you won't get a Jeep thrill or maybe some of you, like me, won't play for an Inifiniti or maybe some of you forgot the Kia to winning or maybe some of you need a Lex-us to write stuff or maybe some of you feel like you're lost in a Mazda or maybe some of you Geo, I don't what else to say. I figured someone would come through in a clutch situation and keep the chain game moving. I am going to go sit on my back Porsche now. See you later.

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